There comes a time when finally you don’t have a choice but to slow down. Most driven people ignore certain signs. Aches, pains, time restraints… you get it. Unfortunately, more often than not, the universe will interfere and said person will have to succumb. And it sucks! I injured my shoulder back in March doing snatches (giggle) during a workout. I pushed through it, finished the workout, figured it was a pulled muscle. Months go by and during those months, sometimes it would hurt, and I would have to modify, sometimes it wouldn’t hurt and I was fine with whatever. Always trying to go faster, harder, heavier… which would lead to more pain, which would lead to ice and my beloved tiger balm, which would then make it ok. Sort of. Throw in an OCR or 20 and finally your body just says, “Screw you! I’m done!” Back track a little. I knew it was getting bad, I could always judge it based on how hard it was to change after a workout, and the fact that the bad arm would get longer. Truth. I had started getting adjusted by a Chiro and it was awesome! I would feel amazing for a few days and slowly would start to lose range of motion as the week went on. I always knew the adjustment was coming so I would push as hard as I could, always having to hold back a little mid-week, but then awesome again after my Friday adjustment. Just know, that if you don’t stop, your body will make you. This past Wednesday a few hours after the workout, it got so bad I could not even lift my arm. Sleeping was next to impossible. I frantically messaged my Chiro in the morning and pleaded to get in to see her. I was quite literally lopsided. Possibly only 20% mobility out of my right arm. I had to use my left hand to move my right hand where I needed it. The worst part? It hurt. I have a high tolerance for pain, and this freaking hurt. Like tears in my eyes kind of pain. My Chiro said she could fix me, but it was going to take awhile, and I was not allowed to workout for at least 1 week. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???? Ok, so I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I was practically destroyed, so she reminded me that I want to get better and right now rest would be the best thing for me. Honestly though, I could barely even pick up a pen, let alone try to lift anything heavy. So, I’m sure you knew what happened next right? I wanted a cookie. Badly. I did resist that time, but man did I want to eat a shit ton of cookies. Being an emotional eater, and since I’m mostly always happy, it’s easy for me to keep my diet in check. This was disastrous though! I’ve tried being good, really I have. A part of me is like, “Fuck it! Eat up Fatty.. Enjoy!” Soooo… I’ve been going back and forth. I enjoyed pasta and a few beers Saturday night. I had orange juice and hash browns on Sunday. I think I ate a year’s worth of cookies yesterday. I feel bloated, I feel lazy, I feel like I’ve failed. I’m not angry or depressed though. It’s a weird feeling actually. The Holiday has kept me mostly busy which is good to keep my mind off it, but it hasn’t really afforded me the luxury of rest. I’m sure this is what a bird with a broken wing feels like. I’m going to kind of wallow in my misery for a bit. Enjoy some “bad” food. Complain. Complain some more. Look in the mirror at my dropped shoulder. Mostly, I am going to look forward to being healed. I have procrastinated long enough and my body has forced me to learn patience and fortitude. I don’t have to like it, but I have to live it right now. I have entirely too much to do in 2013 and I need to be at 100%. So if I have to take a week (actually longer) off, then so be it. Deep down inside, I know it’s necessary. I also know it’s a minor obstacle that I need to interpret and overcome. Which I will. Anyone who knows me, knows I won’t quit, I won’t give up. Learn from my ignorance though… don’t push yourself to this point. Realize your pain is there for a reason and determine a path to heal it before you are forced to. Moving forward though, I can only believe this will make me better than before.
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